On turning 39

Today is my 39th birthday.

It used to be I dreaded getting older. For whatever reason, 29 was especially hard. For me, birthdays were depressing. They represented another year lost, another year of lost opportunity, another year of the same life I had been living.  Another year of limitations.

But no more.  Birthdays are now a celebration of life.  I'm excited about 39. I can't wait for 40.  And 41.

A year and a half ago, laying in the hospital, I did not believe I would see 38, much less 39. This is why I made the changes that I made to my lifestyle.  This is why I go to the gym when I don't want to.  This is why I walk 15 miles a week.  So that I can add more years to my life....and more life to my years.  So that there will be more birthdays.  That is all that sustains me, all that propels me forward.  The motivation, the will and the desire to live.

A friend asked me if I would be celebrating today by eating something special.  Absolutely not.  There will be no cake, there will be no ice cream.  And it's not because there is anything wrong with the cake or the ice cream.  I just choose to celebrate in other ways besides eating.

I think today I'll go to the beach.  Happy Birthday to me!